Sunday, 7 September 2008

the question

this came through the email sometime back. cannot resist putting it up on my blog. i always like this question as the answers are endless. with the US elections coming, one can ask the presidential hopefuls the answer to this question. or ask some other notable personality elsewhere in the world.


but friends, the best answers are still from malaysia (where someone commented, 'there is never a dull moment in Bolehland!") and our neighbour Singapore.


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WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?

Answers from the USA

BARACK OBAMA:
The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a CHANGE! The chicken wanted CHANGE!


JOHN MC CAIN:

My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.


HILLARY CLINTON:

When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure -- right from Day One! -- that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me.......


DR. PHIL:

The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on 'THIS' side of the road before it goes after the problem on the 'OTHER SIDE' of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his 'CURRENT' problems before adding 'NEW' problems.

OPRAH:
Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I ' m going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

GEORGE W. BUSH:
We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.


COLIN POWELL:

Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road...


JOHN KERRY:
Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.

NANCY GRACE:
That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.

PAT BUCHANAN:
That chicken crossed the road to steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

MARTHA STEWART:
No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.


DR SEUSS:
Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.


GRANDPA:

In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.


ERNEST HEMINGWAY:

To die in the rain. Alone.

JERRY FALWELL:
Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth? That's why they call it the "other side". Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media white washes with seemingly harmless phrases like 'the other side." That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as plain and as simple as that.


ARISTOTLE:
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.


JOHN LENNON:

Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.


BILL GATES:

I have just released eChicken2007, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check book.

Internet Explorer is an integral part of the Chicken. This new platform is much more stable and will never cra...#@&&^(C%

.......... reboot.


ALBERT EINSTEIN:

Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?


BILL CLINTON:

I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of chicken?


ALGORE:

I invented the chicken!


COLONEL SANDERS:

Did I miss one?


DICK CHENEY:

Where's my gun?

AL SHARPTON:
Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens


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Answers from Malaysians and Singaporeans

LEE KUAN YEW (Former Prime Minister Singapore):
We have installed crossing lights at all traffic junctions. All chickens should be able to cross safely to the other side.


LEE HSIEN LOONG (Current Prime Minister Singapore):

Gantry points have been set up. All chickens wanting to cross the road are advised to top up their cash cards first.


ABDULLAH BADAWI (Current Prime Minister Malaysia):

We have to be fair to all chickens. Some want to cross over the road, some do not. ........ Zzzzzz .......zzzzzz ....... Now what were we talking about? Ah yes, chickens. We will form a Royal Commission to decide whether it is right for them to cross the road.


MAHATHIR (Former Prime Minister Malaysia who MUST migrate now):

Now even the non-bumi chickens want to cross the road? How can they disrespect and disregard the bumi chickens? We must be allowed to crossover first. It is our right!


SAMY VELU (Former Minister of Works Malaysia):

After we have erected the toll booths, all chickens are free to cross the road.


ANWAR (Opposition party leader Malaysia – now PM-in-Waiting)):

We have enough chickens waiting to cross over in September.


My little Contribution. Feel free to come up with your own. After all, this is what Democracy is all about.


Najib (DPM Malaysia – Now looking for eggs before they become more chickens)

Dead chickens can't cross the road. I blew them up with C4 !


Saiful (Najib;s Rear Intelligence)

Give me ten minutes with the chicken and I will find out.


SIL ( AIR Apparent – Apparently)

If you saw me coming, you'd cross the road too.


Syed Hamid Alba (Home Minister cum DNA Profiler wannabe)

Are you sure it was a chicken and not a duck?. Are you sure there is no sinister motive? Let's wait for the DNA results. (DNA- Does Not Apply)


KellyvilleACE

In the interest of Democracy, Equality, Accountability, and Transparency, the chicken found it necessary to cross the road.


ALL ANAK ANAK BANGSA of the NEW MALAYSIA !!

What chicken? This Rooster has come home to rule!!

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contribution from bob kee:

Lim Guan Eng:

There's no chicken, only a CAT!
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contribution from steven sim:

NECF: The chicken crossing the road? Let's fast and pray for journey mercy.


Brian McLaren: The chicken crossing the road? How's the journey so far?

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Update (12/9): 

 from the reb:


Khairy: Chicken cross the road? Did it first get permission from the 4th Floor boys?


Muhiyyidin: Because it is coming back to join UMNO.


Ahamd Ismail: That's no chicken. It is a 'pendatang' trying to squat illegally on our side of the road.


Badawi: (Today)  I am surprised the chicken chose to cross the road. It angered the chickens on the other side. (Tommorrow) I am angry that the chicken crossed the road. I already told it not to cross the road. (The day after tommorrow) I checked with the chicken. It said it is ok for it to cross the road. (Two days after tommorrow) I want the chicken to apologize for crossing the road....

3 comments:

Bob K said...

Lim Guan Eng :
There's no chicken, only a CAT.

Steven Sim said...

NECF: The chicken crossing the road? Let's fast and pray for journey mercy.

Brian McLaren: The chicken crossing the road? How's the journey so far?

Steven Sim

anthony said...

great ones. tq bob and steven.

i updated the blog by including in your comments as well as 4 of the reb's.