Letter from parents of the late Kerk Zi On

i received a phone call on friday night from mrs kerk, mother of the late Kerk Zi on. she phoned in from australia to request for my email to send me this letter which i am putting up on the blog. in her email, she asked me to forward the letter to all those who had been praying with them over this matter.

since, the readers of this blog have been praying together with them, i want to post this letter as an encouragement to all. some have asked me about the parents of Zi On. the letter is self-explanatory. it is an amazing testimony to the faith of the parents and that of Zi On himself.

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Dear friends and family members,

These past 20 days have been the most traumatic and painful time for our family.

As the search turns from survival to body search, it is difficult to come to terms with ourselves that our dear son and brother Zi On will no longer come home.

Psalm 42:3 precisely describes our daily routine:

My tears have been my food day and night, while men say to me
all day long, “where is your God?”


We know all of you are anxious to know the latest developments of the rescue efforts. We are very sorry for not being able to write to you earlier as emotionally we were not in a position to do so. We are being briefed each day by the Brisbane Marine Police on their search outcome. However each time we receive the same sad answer: “We wish we could give you better news, but we are sorry.” Until today the search is still going on, our hope seems fading, but we hang on to Psalm 130:3-6

“If you, O Lord, kept a record of sins, O Lord, who can stand?
But with you there is forgiveness; therefore you are feared. I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in his word I put my hope. My soul waits for the Lord, more than the watchmen wait for the morning…”


Out of deep our sorrow, we sometimes carelessly blame ourselves and each other for not doing the things we should have done for Zi On and for not saying words we should have said to him. Deep in our hearts, we heard ourselves painfully crying:” We have not loved you enough On, our dear On.”

We always think there is a tomorrow, little have we realized the reality of Psalm 39:5

“You have made my days a mere handbreadth; the span of my years is as nothing before you. Each man’s life is but a breath.”

At Moreton Island, we wept and cried out, looking at the endless sea and its the surging waves. “On, On, where are you?”….,“Zi On, come back, Papa Mama are here to take you home.”

Then the Lord slowly and quietly begins to comfort us, and we learn to surrender our dear son and Kor Kor to our Heavenly Father and Divine God with this assurance from His Word in II Timothy 1v12:

“But I know whom I have believed and am persuaded that He is able to keep what I have committed unto Him until that Day.”

Amidst our grief, other signs of comforts began to fill our hearts. We discovered the following when we painfully went through his belongings and when we recalled through his friends and our own memories of his short earthly journey:


1. His devotional diary. We greatly treasure this find. From it, we are assured of his faith in God; we are humbled by his profound thoughts on the teachings of Jesus and touched by his sincere application.

2. His prayer requests. He has listed down some 17 prayer requests which we believe are his current.

3. Love is a better way. We his parents and his dear brother recall how his life is characterized by gentleness and loving kindness. Many who had known him share with us how much they cherish the memory of his smiling face, his gentle acts of kindness and love for people. Many will miss him as “Zi On always has time for others, he is a good listener.” “ He is the most humble person I have ever met,” said his best friend.

4. Testimonies of his friends. In tears, many of his friends came forward to relate to us their experiences and friendship with Zi On and how Zi On meant to them. Many testified that their lives had been blessed by him. We believe that not even Zi On himself knew what kind of impact he had on the lives of his friends in his short stay in Brisbane.

5. Encouragement. We attended a few services at the Hope Church at the Queensland University, where Zi On was attending. Cho Tan and I shared something about Zi On and to brief the congregation on the outcome of the search. We were deeply moved by the tearful faces of many in the congregation and their sincere comforting words of encouragement.

6. His commitments. We tried to “walk through” some of his last journeys by meeting his friends and attending the Cell group meeting of Judah 8. We are greatly touched by their love for Zi On and now also given to us. We are comforted by their witnesses that Zi On had re-committed his life to God and had indicated his desire to know more about Him.

7. His search for a purpose in life. For many years Zi On was searching for his purpose in life as Cho Tan recalled his sharing with his mom. In one of his diary pages, Zi On wrote :

“I want to be a man of substance”
“I want to be a man of drive”
“I want to be a man with more compassion and empathy”……


8. Born for greater thing. And he also wrote :
“I believe I am born for greater thing” than merely getting a job and earning a living. ………….He never would have perceived that his vision is finally fulfilled at the painful cost of his earthly parents and brother.

The Brisbane Police Inspector told us that based on the various statements recorded from all the witnesses, they will recommend for a National Bravery Award for Zi On for standing forward to save someone who is in danger. We are grateful for the recognition, however as parents, no award is more endearing than the life of our son. They call him “Hero” here, but we only want our son back, if God so wills.

Someone said he should have thought of his parents before he entered the sea to save the girl whom he does not even know. But then, as the Inspector commented “Bravery is an instinct, love is an instinct, courage is an instinct”. It is either he has it or not. But we know if Zi On has these beautiful tributes, it is only because God has endowed him, and all glory be given to God.

The years of training in the Boys Brigade and the grooming in responsibility as a Sergeant and as Band Major of the 1st Teluk Intan Boys Brigade Company no doubt had helped to lay the foundation for his sacrificial act. But God alone deserves all honour.

B.B. Malaysia, we know that you are at this moment sharing the grief with us for the loss of your Sergeant. May this spirit of bravery and love shines forth in your Sergeant evolve into a driving force that will eventually push the mission of BBM to a higher ground.

To all our friends and Zi On’s friends, and to all our relatives and family members, we want to thank you for standing by our side in this hour of our pain. Your prayers, words of comfort and sympathy through SMS, e-mails and phone calls, and many and various supports rendered to us, are deeply appreciated.

Isa. 55:8-9
“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are my ways your ways.
As the heaven is higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.”


We may not know why God has allowed this to happen, but we do believe that He has a higher purpose which we still cannot perceive now, but we will one day.

Our humble daily prayer now is Psalm 143:6,8
“I spread out my hands to you, my soul thirsts for you like the parched land. Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul.

We give thanks to God who daily bears our burden and who has a bottle for our tears.

Through the kindness of our and Z On’s friends, a few internet websites had been set up to keep you posted on the latest developments and to provide a platform for you to pay tributes. You may lock on to the following websites for more information at:

1 http://www.zionkerk.blogspot.com
2 http://www.oldtestamentpassion.blogspot.com
3 Summary of different blogs posted by various parties at :
http://oldtestamentpassion.blogspot.com/2007/12/further-tributes-to-unsung-malaysian.html

More updates will be posted on the blogs from time to time.

This Christmas, as we celebrate the birth of our Saviour Jesus Christ, we must never forget that He came to die that we may live. His resurrection is our hope. In this hope, we wait for the day when we will see Zi On again in heaven.

We take this opportunity to wish you a blessed Christmas and a happy New Year.


In His Love,
Kerk Choon Keng, Cho Tan and ZiLu
25-12-2007

Comments

Bob K said…
Thanks for sharing the letter, Reb. Times like these are never easy.